Books On Grief: Grief Book Suggestions From Widows and Widowers

Why Write About Books on Grief?

There are some things you would rather not know or learn. Grieving for a loved one is at the top of the list of those things. Unfortunately all of us will probably go through some form of grief one day. I did, I am a widower. As you would expect, I had and still do have a very difficult time with grief, guilt and a host of other feelings that come with grieving. After 3 years I have decided to put this together in the hopes that maybe it will help someone. I am also part of a widow/widower group on Facebook so I asked for some suggestions regarding books on grief.

We don’t know how we are supposed to feel and even if we do, we are not sure how to handle our emotions.

Hopefully one or all of these grief books might afford some help to you in your time of need.

Grief Books Suggestion One

This book was suggested by my friend Beth, who has some amazing articles on this site. If you want to read them you can find them here:

Grief and Weight Gain

Losing your other Half, Anxiety

Her suggestion for a grief book was “It’s Ok to Laugh” by Nora McInerny Purmort. This book has over 225 ratings and it still sits at a solid 5 stars as of today.

Here is a synopsis from the back cover:

Terrible, thanks for asking. That’s how it feels to be a widowed mother at age thirty-one. But before Nora McInerny started the Hot Young Widows Club, she bounced from boyfriend to dopey “boyfriend” until she met Aaron—a funny and charismatic art director and comic-book nerd. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed, had a baby boy while he was on chemo, and packed a lifetime of marriage into three short years. All too soon, Aaron died in Nora’s arms. The obituary they wrote while in hospice touched the nation (and revealed his true Spider-Man identity). With It’s Okay to Laugh, Nora puts a young, fresh twist on the subjects of mortality and resilience. What does it actually mean to live your “one wild and precious life” to the fullest?

You can find editorial and personal reviews by following the link below.

Grief Books Suggestion Two

This book was suggested by two people in the group. Lynn B and Hope C both suggested “Option B” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant.

Here is an Editorial review of the book:

An Amazon Best Book of April 2017: After the unexpected passing of her beloved husband, Facebook COO and bestselling author of Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg, feared that she and her children would never find joy again. Fortunately this fear was unfounded. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy–co-authored with psychologist and friend Adam Grant–shows you how Sandberg, and many others who have overcome a wide range of profound hardships, triumphed over tragedy. The book posits that it’s helpful to think of resilience like a muscle, one that atrophies in the calm between the storms of our lives. But there are things we can do to develop it, so we’re better prepared when adversity strikes. In America, culture can put a kink in this plan. Processing a painful event can be hindered when you’re wired not to talk about it. We all know that when someone asks how we’re doing, the expected response is “fine,” no matter if we’ve just lost a limb, or had a cancer scare. We will grin, and we will bear it, and we will go back to work too soon and burst into tears in the copy room when confronted by a malevolent stapler (or maybe that’s just me). Recently, Sandberg helped to enact a new employee benefit at Facebook: 20 days of paid bereavement leave, twice the amount that was offered previously. As she explains in Option B, it’s the humane thing to do, and it also makes good business sense; compassionate companies engender more loyal employees. In this way, Option B is more than a little revolutionary. It challenges us to change systems that don’t always take our humanness into account. And that’s something we need to do on a personal level as well. None of us are immune to misfortune and heartbreak. We need to cut ourselves some slack when times get tough, and, as Sandberg discovered, flip the golden rule: When a loved one is in distress, instead of treating them how you would want to be treated, consider how they want to be treated, which may be quite different. Option B starts an (oftentimes) uncomfortable but important conversation. If we lean in to the numerous lessons it has on offer, there’s a lot more joy to be found. –Erin Kodicek, The Amazon Book Review

You can find customer reviews of this book below:

Grief Books Suggestion Three

The third of the books on grief suggestions came from Debbie D. Her suggestion was a book called “Tear Soup” by Pat Schwiebert.

Here is Schwiebert’s bio:

With more than thirty years of experience working with grieving individuals and groups, Pat is proud to be the founder and executive director of Grief Watch. Pat is the author of many books, including Tear Soup, a recipe for healing after loss, We Were Gonna Have a Baby…But Had An Angel Instead, When Hello Means Goodbye, and has created a number of other resources to help those who are grieving.

Right now, Tear Soup has almost 1000 reviews and a very solid 4.5 star rating. The bonus is that the author appears to be a professional in this field.

You can find “Tear Soup” below:

Why Did I Create This “Books on Grief” Post?

I am a widower and I realized that unfortunately not many people know how to help you. Even friends and family in similar situations might be at a loss for words when it comes to grief. Everyone handles pain differently, that much I know to be true.

I am no expert on handling grief well, goodness knows I did not. But there are a few things that helped me.

Reading, talking and expressing emotions all helped me ease my pain. Until I did that I was a mess. Still am, but less of a mess than I was.

Many hospice centers offer cheap of free counseling, most insurance plans have hotlines you can call and also provide for some bereavement counseling. If your experience with loss is still fresh I hope you seek any resource you can to find help as soon as possible. Books on grief is one small step, but actually talking it out with a professional or even a family member is another important step. I wish you well!

Thank you for reading!